Tips on Traditional Wedding Etiquette

Before you break with tradition entirely and develop a wedding etiquette that is entirely your own, it may be helpful to know what is considered 'traditional wedding etiquette'. It may help you to plan, organise and enjoy a wedding without having to step on any or many toes!

Wedding Expenses Etiquette

Expenses traditionally met by the bride / bride's family include:

• Wedding dress, veil, shoes etc (not bouquet)
• Wedding ring for groom
• Wedding gift for groom
• Bridesmaids gifts and bouquets
• Corsages for the grandmothers
• Flowers for ceremony and reception
• Ceremony and reception expenses including cake, photography, videography, entertainment (with the exception of the celebrant / priest)

Expenses traditionally met by the groom / groom's family include:

• Wedding ring for bride
• Wedding gift for bride
• Best man / ushers' gifts and buttonholes
• Bride's bouquet
• Corsages for the mothers
• Marriage licence
• Transport
• Fee for the celebrant / priest
• Rehearsal supper

Many couples plan to pay for their wedding themselves and accept donations from both sides of the family. This makes for a thoroughly practical and modern approach to wedding finances.

Wedding Invitation Etiquette

• If you don't want to invite children, leave their names off the invitations
• Be specific about the number of seats being reserved for a 'family' group
• Anyone over the age of 18 should receive their own invitation
• Send an invitation to both sets of parents as keepsakes
• Check the wording of your invitation with the bride's parents (especially if they're paying) – invite guests on behalf of your parents, if appropriate

Wedding Gifts Etiquette

• Do not include your gift registry with your invitations
• Make your wedding gift registry available on request (or the hens' or stags' do)
• Do not open your wedding gifts at your reception
• Make sure you send a personal hand-written thank you note to everyone for their wedding gifts

Wedding Seating Etiquette

• Never seat warring relatives next to each other
• Seat people together with common interests or of similar age
• Provide a seating plan at the venue so people know where they're going

Wedding Reception Etiquette

• Cash bars are not considered to 'okay', as you are the hosts
• The best man gives the first speech or toast
• Dancing usually follows a first dance by the newly married couple
• The bride has a dance with her father whilst the groom has a dance with his mother.

Thankfully New Zealand weddings are often more casual than traditional, so if the so-called traditional ways of doing things are not for you, then don't do them! The best advice of all is to keep your wedding etiquette simple and stress-free.

More About Wedding Etiquette

View NZ Wedding Guide's wedding etiquette information, or return to NZ Wedding Guide's main page.